She’s initiating “Mohawk (Fauxhawk) Monday)

Amber is attending her first concert without us next month, well, if Shawn doesn’t drive the bus she’ll be going without us, otherwise she’ll just be going without me.

She’s really hoping someone else will drive the bus, but the other two people are both working so it looks like Shawn’s it. I’ve made him promise me to leave her alone and not to hover over her. I’m sure she’ll be staying close to one of the chaperone’s since she doesn’t really enjoy large crowds and this concert is a huge event.

“Acquire The Fire [ATF] is a National Christian youth conference that takes place in 32 major cities throughout the United States and Canada.” Amber will be attending the one in Sacramento at the Arco Arena.

There will be a drama played out over Friday and Saturday, music and inspirational speakers. I wish there had been something like this when I was growing up. Heck having something like this when Shawn and I first got married would have been nice.

I’m hoping that she’ll come back with a stronger understanding of faith, worship, and fellowship. She loves singing worship at church, attending Next Exit (the teens class) on Friday nights, and working in the nursery once a month.

I’m hoping she comes back with more friends. I don’t know how many of the kids that are going with the group are in her age group. Well, I know some of them are her age, but they attend a different class at Church because she is in 7th grade, so I don’t know how well she knows any of them.

I just want her to be happy. I hate hearing that so-and-so won’t talk to her because of something that someone from last year said to them. She just leaves them alone and lets them make their own decisions about what they want to believe. If they don’t believe her than they don’t deserve her. She knows this but it still hurts.

I don’t understand why kids are so much meaner now than they were when I was growing up. (I don’t know if the kids are really meaner, but it sure seems that way.) Both Amber and Suki have kids who are constantly saying mean/hurtful things to them.

Amber seems to be able to just let it go most of the time, but Suki takes all the comments to heart. She tells the teachers but she says they tell her to deal with it. I don’t know what to do or who to believe anymore. It’s just a huge mess.

Yesterday we were talking about school and Summer vacation and she started to cry. She’s stressing over Summer vacation and leaving to go to Sue’s for a few weeks. She really wants to go, she misses Bug so badly, but she is terrified of being gone. I told her she doesn’t have to go camping with Grandma and she insists that she does because Grandma said so. I explained that Grandma just meant that she really wants her to go because she misses her so much not that she HAS to go, but she doesn’t believe me. In her mind it is set in stone and there is nothing that can be done about it.

The end of the school year cannot come soon enough. I can’t wait for the days when I don’t have to hear about so-and-so saying this, that, and-this-other-thing-too. I can’t wait for days when she isn’t having constant stomach aches that make her “throw-up” every day. (I forget to remind her to take her stomach pills. She takes prilosec twice a day and another one 3 times a day, and as long as she takes them all she seems to have less stomach problems.) I’ve pretty much given up on homework most days. Sometimes we can work on it together and it’s ok, sometimes not. The worst is when she’s done her homework at the after school program and she didn’t have anyone available to read the directions to her. Those nights are always full of tears and frustration and ruin the rest of the week.

Some days I just wish I could home-school her. I don’t think she would be any farther behind than she already is. She has made progress, but is still nowhere near where she should be. We read things together, which is the schools biggest complaint. They donut think we read to/with her enough. What they don;t see is how she runs from me if I try to read her the library books she brings home. Last week she brought home one of the Anne of Green Gables books and “read” it in twenty minutes. When I offered to read it to her she said she didn’t need me to because she already finished the book. I asked her to read me a page because it was one of my favorite stories and she said no, because she was done with it.

Sometimes I’m still able to read to her. We started reading the borrowers two weeks ago, but have only gotten as far as chapter one because she won’t let me read any more of it to her.

I’m just tired of the fighting and crying.

I’m tired of dealing with teachers who get upset at her for not staying on task instead of making sure she understands the directions.

I’m tired of arguing over directions on homework and how things should be done.

I’m tired of hearing but that’s not how Mrs. K or G does it.

I’m tired of not being able to help her grasp the basic concepts of reading or memorize her multiplication facts.

Summer just can’t get here fast enough. I think we all need a break.